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5 Years Later... note to self

Apr. 13th, 2014 | 08:23 am
location: Camden
mood: contemplativecontemplative

5 years later.... now that's what I call DeJa Vu!

An update... Aunts, Dad and Sifus have all gone, either passed or moved to another country. I still hassle my sister though. And of course I still have a shrink (a new one, the old one was suspended for getting naked with a patient).

Aaron. It appears you are writing this for yourself... for when you occasionally check in every few years... a time capsule... so... you are now 39 (worried about 40). You are still an anxious neurotic but much less so. You are starting to settle thanks to the idea that you may have found your profession (stand up comic). What you need to do is commit to it and give it your all. At the moment you seem unable, for example, to spend enough time writing and memorising. The universe is making this reasonably easy for you...don't mess it up. Find it in yourself to be with it.

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Thinking job

Dec. 4th, 2009 | 10:02 am

The problem with masters/therapists/Sifus/Rinpoches/fathers et all is that they are so infallibly human. Perhaps I shouldn't be searching for God in man. Maybe I need to look for the Human in God? Or maybe I should just get a job and stop thinking so much.

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From another blog thing from 2007

Nov. 13th, 2009 | 05:33 pm

Things change a little....

A Troubled Independence
by brokencycles @ 2007-12-03 – 17:22:24
I realize now that I am not that mysterious as a person. It's just that something horrible happened to me as a child, namely my childhood. And now I am an anxious neurotic social invalid. Well, 3 days a week anyway. The other 4 I medicate. I'm no victim though. Take my life into my own hands. Look after myself. Completely independent. As long as I can meditate....and do my Chi Kung (stand still like a tree) .... and go to my therapist... and occasionally visit group therapy... and talk to my sister, my dad and my aunt at least twice a week each... and as long as I live with a flat mate who keeps me sane and pays most of my mortgage....and have a cat that wakes me up by purring then I'm fine.

Yup, completely independent me.

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Shame to waste time

Nov. 13th, 2009 | 05:09 pm

Random invoices said the queen. Yes, I’ll have some cheese with that. No, not fries. Can you kick it. Yes you can. Fart. Oh my god they came and ate us. Mental masturbation rules only in china. You made that up. No I didn’t.

Same time next week, on the express train clouds formed above the heads of bores. Ladies asking for titillation. You said breast. Beat that lover boy. Same old Queen harking back to the hawk days of trust.

Lick. Click. And Snip. Cutting that.

Picture rules of change changing in your head whilst all over there is empty tobogganing with whisky. Flipping bananas in a rude way, what other way is there off course the toboggan. Has two g’s apparently didn’t know that. Personality is not hidden amongst the spaces in these words. Fry. Walker.

So eat us already you greasy turd to be. Consumed with soon to be meaninglessness. Oooo lots of esses. Lick me. Lick me now, though I might be missing an e. Shame to waste time.

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Old to new. New to old.

Oct. 13th, 2009 | 11:55 am

I used to feel that I wish that I (Aaron 34) could go back and give everything I know to young Aaron (aged ...say 7). But now I want to feel and remember like I did when I was 7. I had less fear and neurosis back then. Why would I ever have wanted to curse my 7 year old self with the contents of my 34 year old brain.

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Applying for jobs?

Oct. 8th, 2009 | 03:12 pm

Ok so far: Last update 13/10/09

Odeon : No roles
Vue: No roles
Channel Video: No roles
Waterstones: Rejected
Daunt: No roles
Barcalays: Rejected
Everyman Cinemas: No Roles

Still to try,

Apple (Applied for three jobs)
Empire Cinemas (sent exploratory email)
Curzon Cinemas (applied)
Waterstones again
Blockbuster Video
Kilburn Book store (done)
Queens Park Book Store (Done)

Will drop off CV anyway
Daunt (Done)

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No entry for 61 weeks now that's what I call procrastination

Dec. 29th, 2008 | 10:53 am

No entry for 61 weeks now that's what I call procrastination

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more. Inside: Stiltskin.

Oct. 26th, 2007 | 08:28 am

Swing low
In a dark glass hour
You turn and cower
See it turn to dust
Move on a sone dark night
We take to fight
Snowfall turns to rust

Seam in a fusing mine
Like a nursing rhyme
Fat man start to fall
Long year in a hostile place
I hear your face start to call

And if you think
That I've been loosing my way
That's because I'm slightly blinded
And if you think
That I don't make too much sense
That's because
I'm broken minded

Don't keep it ...
If you believe it
Don't keep it all inside

Strong words
In a ganges sky
I have to lie
Shadows move in Paris
Ring out from a bruised postcard
In the shooting yard
Looking through the tears
Out of the black slate time
We move in line
But never reach an end

Fall in a long stray town
As the ice comes round
River starts to bend

And if you think
That I've been loosing my way
That's because I'm slightly blinded
And if you think
That I don't make too much sense
That's because
I'm broken minded

Don't keep it ...
If you believe it
Don't keep it all inside

The hottest songs from Stiltskin

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Lyrics that demand to be studied.

Sep. 10th, 2007 | 08:53 pm

Traveling Wilburys
Tweeter And The Monkey Man

Verse 1:
Tweeter and the Monkey Man were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash
To an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained she loved the Monkey Man
Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to Vietnam
And found out the hard way nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the Jersey Line
So they hopped into a stolen car took Highway 99
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Verse 2:
The undercover cop never liked the Monkey Man
Even back in childhood he wanted to see him in the can
Jan got married at fourteen to a rackateer named Bill
She made secret calls to the Monkey Man from a mansion on the hill
It was out on thunder road - Tweeter at the wheel
They crashed into paradise - they could hear them tires squeal
The undercover cop pulled up and said "Everyone of you's a liar
If you don't surrender now it's gonna go down to the wire
(To chorus:)
Verse 3:
An ambulance rolled up - a state trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away and messed up his mind
The undercover cop was left tied up to a tree
Near the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory
Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal
He didn't care about the loot
Jan had told him many times it was you to me who taught
In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught
(To chorus:)
Verse 4:
Someplace by Rahway prison they ran out of gas
The undercover cop had cornered them said "Boy, you didn't
think that this could last"
Jan jumped out of bed said "There's someplace I gotta go"
She took a gun out of the drawer and said "It's best if you dont' know"
The undercover cop was found face down in a field
The monkey man was on the river bridge using Tweeter as a shield
Jan said to the Monkey Man "I'm not fooled by Tweeter's curl
I knew him long before he ever became a Jersey girl"
(To chorus:)
Verse 5:
Now the town of Jersey City is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club called the Lion's Den
The TV set been blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news show that the Monkey Man was on
I guess I'll to to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here, everything's been done
Sometime I think of Tweeter, sometime I think of Jan
Sometime I don't think about nothing but the Monkey Man
(To chorus:)

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dragon flies

Sep. 3rd, 2007 | 10:37 pm
location: home in Queens park
music: The humming of a fan

Today I had a day off. A fly got trapped in my room and I opened all the windows so that it could escape. Then a bee got trapped as well but it was too stupid to escape. So I had to catch it in a glass and release it.

I am creating this entry with Dragon NaturallySpeaking.

"It is really really weird."

I miss Mike and Fran. I still owe them chocolate but I am unsure how to send it without it all melting.

I think using Dragon is going to be frustrating until I have properly trained it. Once it is properly trained I think it will work better than and be much more efficient than me typing.

Haley, do you want your dinner? Do you want your dinner. Do you want your dinner! Ray! You see that was meant to be ready. Not Ray. Not to be ready. But hooray. There we go. At last!

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